Day 56
by BurningNightingale
Summary: "Day 56: Still stranded with no sign of rescue. Food supplies average. Today we received an invitation to attend the funeral of Luca the Parrot. Like anything on this island, it was a strange affair..." - Taken from Arthur Kirkland's 'Stranded On A Remote Island Diary'


**A/N: Written for the Writersverse landcomm on LJ. It's pretty random XD**

* * *

The letter arrived in their camp as they were gathered around the small cookfire eating breakfast. It was thrown from the surrounding trees, and landed with a small thump in the sand at Alfred's feet.

They all stared at it for a few moments before Alfred bent to pick it up.

"Don't!" Arthur yelled at him. "It could be a trap!"

"Yes, it could explode or something," Yao added, eyeing the small roll of paper suspiciously.

"Whatever," Alfred shrugged, and reached down and picked the small piece of paper off the sand. Nothing happened, and he unrolled it without incident. "Yeah, look, such a scary bit of paper, man, I was so worried for a minute there."

"Shut up," Arthur glared at him, "What does it say, anyway?"

Alfred cleared his throat. "'Dear Allied Powers'," he read out, "'Today we are holding a funeral on our side of the island for Luca the parrot at 3pm (approximately). You are all invited if you want to come. Signed, The Axis. P.S. Do you want to trade some sausage for some coffee because we have run out?'"

"No way," Francis shook his head, "I hate that stinking German sausage."

"I quite like it actually," Ivan said absently.

"I hate both coffee and sausage! Why does no one have noodles?" Yao poked the fire aggressively.

"Alright, all in favour of trading coffee for sausage raise your hand," Arthur ordered. He and Ivan raised their hands. "Motion rejected, not that I care anyway, since I hate coffee. Secondly, everyone in favour of attending the parrot's funeral raise your hand."

Alfred raised his hand. "I'm bored of sitting here all day."

Francis copied him. "Agreed."

Ivan and Yao both raised their hands too. "We can spy on their camp at the same time!" the Chinese man pointed out happily.

Arthur sighed. "Motion passed. We'll attend the parrot's funeral." _We really need to get off this island_, he thought to himself.

* * *

On the other side of the island, Ludwig was in the middle of a similar thought. "You're not really going to have a funeral for the parrot," he said, almost pleadingly.

Feliciano nodded and raised a hand to his heart. "Poor Luca was a loyal friend," he said dramatically, "A soul of tranquillity and peace! We should celebrate his time on earth and honour his memory."

Ludwig looked desperately at Kiku, who only nodded and said, "We should respect the memory of the dead."

Ludwig sighed. "Fine. _Fine_. We'll waste our valuable time on a funeral for a damn _bird_."

Feliciano looked scandalized. "He was not just a bird, Ludwig!" he exclaimed. "He was like a member of the family!"

"What _family_? None of us are related!"

"Our family of brotherhood!" Feliciano wailed, "Luca was a key member of all we have strived for!"

"He was a _parrot_!"

_We really need to get off this island_, Kiku thought darkly to himself.

* * *

The Allies arrived on the Axis side of the island at what they judged to be three o'clock, which luckily just about coincided with what the Axis judged to be three o'clock. They had a small argument about what should be considered three o'clock, then decided they might as well start since they were all there.

Luca the parrot was interred in a small wooden crate with 'Coffee' stamped on the side, on top of which Feliciano had placed a small bunch of tropical flowers. They placed the small casket down in the middle of the beach, above the high tide line, and the guests lined up in rows in front of it.

Despite his protests, Ludwig had been roped in to perform the ceremony. "Gathered friends, idiots and countries we're actively at war with," he began. "We have come here today to mourn the passing of our good friend and comrade, Luca the parrot. Luca will forever be remembered for his upstanding service, his aid to the war effort, his dedication to duty, and his cool head and courage in the field of battle. May his bones rest in peace here forever in the place where he laid down his life for us so valiantly."

"Amen," Alfred said emphatically. Feliciano dabbed his eyes with a handkerchief while Kiku bowed solemnly to the small box.

They dug a small hole in the ground near the jungle and placed the box inside, then took turns to throw handfuls of sand down onto it. Then Alfred decided to lead them in a prayer, before he helped Ludwig refill the small grave.

After sharing a drink of tepid rainwater in Luca's memory, the Allies returned to their side of the island, promising to bring the Axis some coffee in exchange for some of the mangoes which seemed to grow exclusively on their side of the island.

"Y'know, I was thinking maybe we should do more meet-ups," Alfred said as they were gathered around their campfire again in the growing evening dark, enjoying a dinner of yam and tree roots boiled in water. "We could, I dunno, have a coffee morning every so often."

"We could play four-a-side football," Francis offered.

"We could start a choir!" Ivan suggested.

"We really need to get off this island," Arthur said darkly.


End file.
